It’s Wellness Wednesday and as I sit watching my kids play under the sprinkler, I’m both joyful and heavy of heart.
The Joy comes from seeing two sisters who are playful and fun, and the heavy heart comes from the sadness that so many friends, and friends of friends, are no longer with us to see their kids play.
At 46, I feel too young to know so many deceased people in my age group and it’s weighing heavily on my soul. The sadness I feel is nothing compared to the sadness of those experiencing it first-hand and it’s partly their sadness I’m processing as opposed to my own.
The other challenge is the feeling of helplessness, in finding a meaningful way to support the person/s. It’s easy to feel that you are not doing enough to help someone, and then by default feel you are bugging them by being there.
I found this article useful as a guide to help me check my list of concerns about how to help, and if I’m doing the right things at the right time.
A quote on the following blog is true for me and many others; “Here’s the thing: the emotions of others are contagious. If our empathetic “immune system” isn’t robust, then the boundaries between ourselves and those we serve may become very blurry. And at some point, we may not be able to feel the difference between what someone else is experiencing and what is happening in our own bodies. We feel it all.”
I never NOT want to be an Empath, because it leads to denial of others; We end up dismissing their needs, minimising their pain, becoming rigid in our thinking, silencing their stories, withdrawing from people, and making unethical decisions.
Hmmmm… If only more Leaders were Empaths!!!
So, I’m going to sit uncomfortably in my empathetic chair as long as I need to, suffering with sadness, shock, denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance because I don’t actually want to consider the alternative.
Sending you love and wishing you good health.