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|Posted on February 11, 2022 at 11:45 PM|
No-one is immune to suffering, set-backs, trauma, grief or pain. This is the reality of life, like Death and Taxes, they can’t be denied. Like most people I’ve had my fair share of each. I’ve also made unhealthy decisions, neglected my health, dismissed my well-being and wallowed in pain. A few short years ago I decided to get some new perspective on my hurts, trauma, pain and grief, and to shift the focus from anxiety to appreciation.
I decided to look at the blessings in my life and to appreciate all the lessons I’ve been given which has made me the person I am today. The person I am today is confident, fearless, grateful, hard-working, kind, compassionate and more peaceful. Of course, I have my moments of feeling fed up, frustrated and wishing life was more fun. But on the whole, I’ve made a deal with myself to embrace the highs and lows of life and to look at everything as an opportunity to grow and discover as much as I can about myself and others.
A friend of mine has an expression which says; “I wonder what will be placed upon my path today to bring me to a greater understanding of self and others.”. I’ve used his mantra in my life to rationalise difficult people and challenging situations.
Here some examples to flip from Grief to Gratitude, Anxiety to Appreciation and Thankless to Thankful.
1. As I grieve the loss of one of my babies I can be grateful that in her sacrifice her twin sister survived.
2. Uncertainty and Worry for what may happen leads to Anxiety. Instead of suffering with Worry, I choose Wonder. “I WONDER what will happen today!”
3. Childhood Trauma raises its head at some stage in our life. I’m thankful my childhood trauma has enabled me to be strong, independent and fearless.
4. Choosing to be grateful for good health and a safe place to sleep is a luxury that many people in the world do not have.
5. Financial worries and set backs are not so stressful when we recognise that help, support and assistance is available.
I choose to start and end each day with Gratitude. I wake in the morning and before I open my eyes I whisper to myself, “I’m grateful I can hear the birds singing; I have a comfortable bed to sleep in; clothes to wear; and I have coffee and food to eat.”
Before I fall asleep, I express gratitude for health and those that love me. “I’m grateful for a healthy body, loving heart and brilliant mind!”
Of course, there are days that my body is less healthy, my heart is sad, and my mind is busy and overwhelmed. BUT, expressing gratitude to myself helps me sleep better. And when I sleep, I rest, digest and repair myself ready to start a new day with Wonder.
It takes practise to accept Gratitude as a light that leads away from pain and anxiety. Life is so busy with so much uncertainty, and each day brings new challenges and life changing moments.
Embracing Uncertainty is central to this shift, and as I came to this realisation for myself I wrote a poem to express my new relationship with Anxiety (living in the future) and Depression (living in the past).
Our suffering often ends up being the gift that helps someone else. Next to our deepest pain lays our greatest gift. But we can’t use the gift if we don’t learn from the pain. That profound revelation has enabled me to use my pain to help others which is a gift that keeps on giving.
You can practise embracing your sufferings and being grateful for your lessons and connect with others who are doing the same. Nearby is someone just like you, and if you need some new perspective on your life then you can reach out for help and support.
Love and Health,